The Stash Turns Literary

Completely random, but I remember this passage from Le Morte d'Arthur used to give me such a boner as a kid . . .

So they mounted on their horses, armed at all sights, and rode into a forest, and so into a deep plain. And the weather was hot about noon, and Sir Launcelot had great desire to sleep. Then Sir Lionel espied a great apple-tree that stood by a hedge, and he said: "Brother, yonder is a fair shadow--there may we rest us and our horses." "It is well said," replied Sir Launcelot. So they there alighted, and Sir Launcelot laid him down, and his helm under his head, and soon was asleep passing fast. And Sir Lionel waked while he slept. And presently there came three knights riding as fast as ever they might ride, and there followed them but one knight. And Sir Lionel thought he never saw so great a knight before. So within a while this great knight overtook one of those knights, and smote him so that he fell to the earth. Then he rode to the second knight and smote him, and so he did to the third knight. Then he alighted down and bound all the three knights fast with their own bridles. When Sir Lionel saw him do thus, he thought to assay him, and made him ready silently, not to awake Sir Launcelot, and rode after the strong knight, and bade him turn. And the other smote Sir Lionel so hard that horse and man fell to the earth; and then he alighted down and bound Sir Lionel, and threw him across his own horse; and so he served them all four, and rode with them away to his own castle. And when he came there he put them in a deep prison, in which were many more knights in great distress.


  1. i like the idea of a bound guy thrown like a sack over a horse...

  2. Heh, and four at once is even better, right? Their butts bouncing up at every bomp of the saddle, grtting their teeth in humiliation at their easy defeat.

    In the book I had as a kid, I could've sworn that the knight not only bound them over their horses and then locked them up, but stripped them naked too. Maybe that's just my horny overimagination at the time that I'm remembering though, heh.

  3. or maybe stripped to their tights?