Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was pretty much the coolest cartoon ever.

Lean green fighting machines. They were teenagers! They were turtles! They were . . . ninjas! And I can still recite the theme song! Heroes in a half-shell, turtle power!

Named after Renaissance painters! Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello!

I never did get to see the new cartoon. Or the er, even newer CG movie. A shame!

I'm more familiar with the old cartoon that I watched as a kid. A more innocent time with friendlier, more rounded turtles.

Or the live action version. (what?)

Though I hear the original comics were totally badass, so I'm kinda happy that each new animated iteration is getting progressively darker.

I'll always think fondly of them as those carefree pizza lovers though~!

Not that that's ever stopped me from porning it up with 'em. (what?)

I mean, just 'cuz they're carefree doesn't mean they don't got needs, right?

And they gotta satisfy 'em somehow.

Even if it means doing their own brothers!

Though did you know? Technically the turtles aren't even related. They were just raised as brothers. Something to think about! Or not.

Anyway, it's not like they're drowning in prospective mating partners, living in the sewers and whatnot. Gotta make do with what you've got!

But wouldn't the shells get in the way . . . ? Oh well! That's something else I don't think about.

Their sexual activities aren't limited to just their own freakish, mutated species though!
Casey Jones!

Rocksteady and Bebop!



And various . . . other life forms!

My favorite was always Don.





Besides the gameplay, battle system, graphics, and general all-around badassery, what's the one thing people always remember about Vagrant Story?

Ass-less pants!

Ashley Riot, ladies and gentlemen.