Kochikame: Kaipan Special (part 2)

When our heroes arrive on the scene, we find the police squad at an impasse.

There's a man with a gun inside the school shouting demands at them. More worrying, he's got a hostage!

The police don't know what to do. None of them can make it over without being seen. That's when . . .

Our heroes make their entrance!

As the situation is explained to them . . .

Kaipan seems to know exactly how to handle it.

But to Ryotsu's shock, the first thing he does is--

Remove his gun holster!

The vile criminal, seeing that action from afar, is further enraged rather than appeased. Are the cops mocking him now, sending out weird, speedo-clad guys?

He warns them to stop their advance, and when they don't . . .

Opens fire!

But Kaipan continues to walk forward stoically, not even batting an eye. You get the feeling he'd walk into fire with the same unchangeable expression on his face!

Ryo-san, meanwhile . . .

Thinks that is a great opportunity to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.

But a riot shield blocks his way! Several of them!

With cops behind them!

He tries to explain the situation to the other officers. He's not supposed to be here. He's just a plain beat cop. This is out of his depth!

But the men stand firm. They called the Special Detective in especially for this mission, and by gum he's gonna carry it out!

Whether he likes it or not!

Pushed back towards the action . . .

Ryotsu ends up taking the lead in the war on crime.

Where he winds up dancing quite the jig . . .

As bullets whiz by all around him!

He decides to hide where it's safe.

At this juncture, Kaipan addresses the crook directly.

Asking him to let the hostage go and come out peaceably.

But the man is adamant in his refusal, and makes a counter-demand of his own.

Add ImageThat Kaipan lose the gun strapped to his ankle!

This is done without hesitation, and to Ryo-san's further consternation.

Now that they're completely unarmed, what's to keep the villain from simply shooting them both?

Just then, Kaipan's watch flashes! Could it be a secret signal?!

. . . no. Just time for another banana break. That man loves his long, phallic potassium!

Feeling mocked again, the hostage-taker fires wildly!

But Kaipan doesn't let a little thing like that ruin his break, and swallows the whole thing down.

Before depositing the peel back in his speedo.

"It's time for us to finally make our move, Ryo-san," he tells him (maybe?)

Kaipan needs to know if his new partner is fully resolved in this, and can face danger without blinking an eye.

For example . . .

Does THIS scare you?

Without waiting for an answer, Kaipan starts the next phase of attack. Which is . . .

. . . stripping down?!

Gaze on the glory of the male form!

I don't think our crook knows how to deal with this new development.

But the poor schoolgirl lets out a shriek at the sight FAR louder than any she made just from being a hostage. Make of that what you will.

Kaipan needs Ryotsu's cooperation in this. What one naked man can do, imagine the power of two!

Not for the first time, Ryotsu wishes he was on the other side of those riot shields . . .

Bu the police chief, mistaking his reluctance, salutes Ryo-san's bravery.

It's down to the wire, Ryo-san.

Everyone is counting on you!

"Fine! I'll do it!"

There's quite a crowd of civilians and TV crews out there.

Driving as fast as they could, Ryotsu's fellow police box workers finally make it to the scene. Naturally, the first thing they see upon arrival is . . .

Ryo-san's ass.

Oh please, like none of you have seen it before.

That done, the magnificent duo is now ready to have a head-on colission . . .


What could Kaipan's plan be?

Could it be as simple as . . . slowly walking towards them with his junk flopping around? (yes)

But Kaipan's manhood is enough to totally disconcert, well, everyone!

Now's his chance!


The girl screams!

And you get the feeling the man isn't far behind!

He's racing at super-sonic naked speeds.

The perp finally gets himself together enough to aim his fire-arm.


But such trifles are nothing to a Special Detective!



This was way better in the actual episode because they recycled the animation like five times, all leading up to the epic . . .


Oh, it's bedlam now! Madness!

As Kaipan makes quite a splash entering with a naked jump kick and the hostage scrambles for cover.

The perp, meanwhile, lands with a smash.

Ryotsu follows Kaipan in, covering up as best he can. (say what you want about Ryotsu's general lack of modesty, but at least he's better than Kaipan xD)

He decides to take care of the girl . . . who gives the loudest scream yet at the sight of ANOTHER naked man. And this one's all short and hairy!

Ryotsu says something snarky, but I was too busy wondering why the censors even bothered at this point. Look at that mosaic'd dick!

But while we're all gazing at that fine sight, the criminal is readying himself for Round 2.

"Bring it on," Kaipan seems to say.

This should be good!

First attack: Miss!

Second attack: . . . also miss! (also, dick)

He's getting angry now.

Gah, grabs don't work either!

Kaipan slides effortlessly out of each one. He's slippery as an eel!

Finally, the man falls to the floor. Poor guy, I feel for ya!

Ryotsu is impressed and cheers from the sidelines!

Our perp foolishly tries one last time to knock this handsome Special Detective out.

That turns out to be his undoing.

It's Kaipan's turn to strike back!

With a truly . . . unique move.


Flipping him over in mid-air . . .

Kaipan lands him with a sickening THUD.

And though the criminal struggles to hold on, pressed between those muscular thighs . . .

It soon becomes too much for him and he passes out.

Well, that took some doing.

But now they can finally get to the real reason they came here, getting that hostage to safety. What's that, Ryotsu? That may be a problem? Despite all your efforts . . .

The hostage has taken cover under a desk and refuses to come out, more traumatized than she's ever been in her life.

Well, that just won't do.

Kaipan decides it's up to him again.

. . . and slowly advances, using the same play he tried before. (xD)

Oh! Kaipan suddenly realizes why the girl is so upset.

It's because his tie was slightly undone. (that's not it!)

ANYWAY. Ryo-san gives the signal to the police that it's all clear now.

And the men rejoice.

Their job done, the two partners get ready to leave . . .

However, all is not as it appears!

Grabbing a . . . a thingie, the perp comes at Kaipan one final time!

Kaipan's arms are occupied holding the fainted girl. Could this be the end for him?!

Not at all, because now it's Ryotsu's turn to shine!


It's a sturdy blow.

But he's not done yet. Ryotsu dashes around to the man's rear while he's off-balance.

And grips him about the midsection!

It's time to put this guy down for good! With . . .



Kaipan simply nods. Ryotsu has learned well what it means to be a Special Detective.

At that moment, Chief & friends get to the window . . .

And see, uhhh.


(like they haven't seen it before!)

Later, it's time for a heartfelt goodbye.

Ryotsu still thinks Kaipan's a little annoying and has some odd ideas about how police operate, but they solved the crime so it's all good . . . or something.

The sunset gives this manly farewell a potent hue.

Before he leaves, however, Kaipan has a gift for Ryotsu. A speedo-rummage reveals . . .

A Special Detective tie, just for him!

Why, Ryotsu is shocked by this new development!

D'aww, he doesn't know what to say!

Maybe Kaipan isn't so bad after all.

However, there's more. The tie must be worn a certain way.

Around your dick.

Special Detective Kaipan, folks.


  1. *o* I was waiting for Kaipan and wasn't prepared to watch this, where can you watch this episode.

  2. There's a link to it right at the bottom of the previous post (Kaipan Special part 1) you guys!

  3. This is (with part 1) by far the best Kochikame post ever! Hilarious and sexy, fantastic! :D

  4. This is some major dedication.

    Also...is it just me or does Kaipan have like massively huge balls based on the pixelation?

  5. Okay, either you're trolling us or Japan is trolling us, because there's no way this could be rea-

    oh i SEE

    You know, one of my former (?) coworkers is a giant Japanophile (or as they would say in certain corners of the Internets, a weeaboo). Like, carries around a Japanese textbook and guide to draw manga everywhere he goes, talks 24/7 about anime, so on and so forth. He also (of COURSE) thinks that Japan is superior to America in every single way.

    ...somehow, after reading these last two posts, I'm inclined to agree.

  6. This was a Lot of fun. XD Thank you so much!