Awesome Android

So, Ultimate Spider-Man! No, not the comic, but the cartoon. The one that is nowhere close to as great as Spectacular Spider-Man was, and why did that show get cancelled? WHY?

*cough* Sorry, I got a wee bit carried away.

Anyway, this post is about episode 14, "Awesome".

In it, Spider-Man and friend, Luke Cage--er, "Powerman", let an android loose for their science fair project.

An android that just, um, ate Agent Coulson.


Not to worry though! This android only eats inorganic matter

So after a few seconds . . .

Out comes Agent Coulson. *_*

Er, sans all that inorganic stuff on him.

Like his clothes. '_'

How mortifying.

But the fun's not over yet! This episode also had a bonus villain.

The unstoppable Juggernaut!!!

He attacks the android (now grown to immense proportions)

But even Jugg's unbridled power can't harm the creature!

He's snatched up like a tiny bug . . .

. . . and is messily devoured.

Oh the humanity!

The heroes watch helplessly as Juggernaut's bulge travels down the Android's body.

Only to emerge at his foot!

Hmmm, and it seems Juggernatu's helmet and armor counted in the 'inorganic' category as well . . .

As naked as a newborn!

Cain Marko takes a moment to come to grips with what just happened to him, as traveling through the Awesome Android's digestive tract is apparently akin to witnessing a Lovecraftian horror.

Having no patience for such dramatics, Spider-Man takes the chance to . . .


Which is possible, I guess, because Juggernaut doesn't have his helmet on?

Except . . . Juggernaut's powers don't come from his helmet at all . . .

This makes no sense. ;_;


Just look at naked Juggernaut, everybody!

Later, the show teases us by having the Android ALMOST devour Nova, but the hero narrowly escapes public exposure.

Then later still, Spider-Man IS eaten.

But then he gets out and his costume is still there? Um.

ANYWAY, let's just be distracted by Juggernaut again.

. . . except the authorities apparently found him some shorts (damn)


  1. What a strange, strange, awesome episode...

    Damn those shorts-wielding authorities! Wubam!

    1. I know, right! And where did they even get those shorts from? On closer examination, they're the same color as the android's 'ooze' . . . maybe they fashioned them from the same material?

      Either way, I think the ending would have been much more effective if Juggernaut had been lead away naked. u_u

    2. Hear, hear!

      When I was going down the images where Juggernaut was swallowed, I wondered for a split second if they would have him go where a bulge was badly needed. But of course not. >:|

      Still, I guess a limited time offering of naked Juggernaut is better than no naked Juggernaut at all!

  2. Maybe Spidey's skin is red and blue, and we're all just being insensitive about his race.

  3. Why aren't I watching this show? I was missing out on naked Juggernaut. Those shots of him naked were awesome. I was just dying to see his dick so bad. Damn this for being a children's show.

  4. No...don't watch this show. It's god-awful and seems like an insult to my intelligence every time it airs.

    1. I wish Greg Weisman's Spectacular Spider-Man had gotten more seasons. : /

    2. Ditto and then some. TSSM was amazingly fantastic and ended way too soon and USM is inferior, though I appreciate the nudity especially Agent Coulston's, fuck he is pretty hot in that scene.

  5. Spiderman's suite is 100% organic.... what a nerd.
    (See everyone? This is why we should not wear polyester... or full-body armor suits.)